Friday, April 11, 2014

My Kid Will Never..

When you don't have or have never cared for children, it's so easy to say that your future children will never do a variety of things. Like that loud ass screaming kid at the grocery store. Yea, that'll never be your kid. I see it all the time on social media from my child-less friends. Before having kids, I used to say the same things. Becoming a parent was like a nice kick in the teeth.

These are just a few of the things I said my kids would never do.

My kids won't know what McDonalds is..

With as much as we've traveled around the country, the Happy Meal has wedged it's way into our lives. Sure, I could plan ahead and pack lunches, but sometimes that takes too much work. And lately, dinner seems to take too much work to prepare, so McDonalds it it!

My kids will never misbehave in public..

It's more like my kids will never behave in public. I've tried everything to include bribery. I've pretty much accepted the fact that trips to the store will be painful for quite some time.

My kids won't watch TV until they're older..

I'm all about the free babysitting service known as Netflix. TV is one of the things that I try hard to limit, but when I need to occupy the girls while I do the dishes or take a shower, the TV is my savior.

My kids will never make a mess of the house.. 

It's a good thing I enjoy vacuuming. I've learned that silence is dangerous.

My kids will never sleep in my bed.  

I failed at this one from the very beginning. Less than a week into parenthood, I was exhausted from getting up to feed Veronica, which led to her being given a spot between John and I. Nursing is easy when you don't have to wake up for it.

My kids won't curse or say inappropriate things..

Adri dropped an F-bomb like a champ yesterday. I take full responsibility for that one. It's my go-to word..

So, fellow mommies, what are some things you said your kids would never do? Child-less ladies, I'd love to hear what you think too!

Love, Alex

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  1. My kids have done all of these too.

    But I always knew they'd eat a lot of McDonalds since I love it ;)

  2. As long as they're using the swear words correctly, right?

  3. At least you know where they got the swear word from. ;)

  4. Haha, I love the f-bomb comment. My youngest sister learned that work from watching Chevy Chase Christmas Vacation- classic!

  5. I was nodding my head through this whole thing!! I said I would never be a stay at home mom, never. I was so going back to work. Nope, four years and counting!

  6. Moderation is key for the fast food issue (in my book at least). I realy need to go food shopping so the kids have had fast food yesterday and today. They also get something from Wendy's on the way home from Sophia's dance class on Friday nights. It's just a necessity.

    The biggest gripe for me with kids acting up and screaming at a store is the parent's response. I'm a firm believer in ignoring a tantruming two year old but not at the expense of everyone else's ears and sanity. I've definitely thrown a toddler over my shoulder, emptied the cart, and left the store mid-shopping while pushing the baby in the now empty cart. I'm not saying leave every single time the kid starts whining or crying but at least try to subdue them.

  7. I said all the same things before I had kids, and I have broken all of them. Doc McStuffins entertains my kids while I make their lunch every day.

  8. As someone without kids yet, I can say I'm guilty of making these same [totally naive] comments. I KNOW I'll be right there with your list, doing the things I said "I'll never do!" or "They'll never do!"

    Loved this post!

  9. Yep, to all of them! "I'll never co-sleep" ha! Fast forward to me and a 3 month old with a deployed husband...little dude got his own half!

  10. I said no Mcdonald's...right, that didn't last long. I said when I was pregnant, no strollers. Right, that lasted two minutes. I said no soda and while we went a long time with that one, now they have it every once in a while. It is kinda funny what we say we will do before we know what parenthood is like.

  11. I know it's bad, but I laugh any time a kid drops an f-bomb. Those cute little voices saying that word... kills me every time.

  12. I'm pretty sure my kid's first word is going to be "motherfucker." Maybe she'll say it while munching on some McDonald's fries.

  13. Haha. Love this post. I don't even remember all my "Will Nevers". I can remember my daughter knew stupid was a naughty word at a very young age. By the time, the third was talking there were worse words coming from his mouth :)

  14. Oh man, are you me?! My kids do ALL of those. It's... not fun lol.

  15. This is just great. We should make a list of our nevers before little booger gets here to see what changes.


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