Thursday, June 5, 2014

Ultrasound Woes

Yesterday's ultrasound didn't go anywhere close to as well as I was hoping it would. I don't even know where to start because I'm still pretty upset. My main concern going in was whether or not the placenta had moved far enough from my cervix to allow me to have a vaginal birth. Those measurements weren't exactly where they needed to be, and neither were some of the baby's growth measurements.

At my last appointment, I noticed that Baby J's head was measuring a few weeks behind her gestational age. If her other measurements had been small I wouldn't have been concerned, but the fact that it was only her head worried me slightly. The sonographer remeasured a gazillion times and kept getting the same results. Since no one said anything or raised any concern though, I forgot about it by the next day. 

Yesterday, the same thing happened again. The sonographer redid the measurments several times, and each time I could see the numbers in the bottom corner of the screen indicating that the head size was off by a few weeks. Along with that, the sonographer noticed that the area that separates the two sides of baby's brain didn't look right either. She decided to go grab another tech for a second opinion. As soon as the sonographer left the room, I burst into tears and used a slew of politically incorrect phrases.

The second opinion wasn't exactly reassuring either. It was more like one of those blatant lies to get you to feel better and not worry. "I've seen this before and it can be normal.."

Things didn't get much better from that point. After having me flip in all sorts of directions and inverting the table to the point where I practically had to hold on to avoid sliding off, the ultrasound tech decided that I would need a transvaginal ultrasound to get the placenta measurements. Fun.

Once again we had to call for reinforcements, because things weren't cooperating. I wish I could blame all of this on the ultrasound tech being new or something, but she's definitely not, because I saw her for my very first ultrasound months ago. Plus her little picture wall is full of all sorts of pictures from patients.

This time around they brought in an actual doctor, along with another tech. They were able to see that the placenta still isn't far away enough from the cervix to allow for a vaginal birth. I have to go back in three weeks to be measured again, and that's when they'll decided if I need a c-section or not. I'm slightly freaking out, since I've never had any type of surgery or even stitches for that matter.

Needless to say, I spent the rest of the afternoon randomly bursting into tears. I wish I had some of the ultrasound photos to share, but I've been too upset to even look at them and I don't know where they ended up. As it is, I was pretty terrified of giving birth for a third time. This more or less solidifies my anxiety. It doesn't help at all that I got on Google and searched until I found the worst possible outcome.

I can only pray that things will go well between now and my delivery. Hopefully we can get some positive news at the next ultrasound. For now, I've been loving on my babies extra and praying that my third princess comes out at perfect as the first two.

Love, Alex

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24 comments:

  1. I am so sorry hon! My thoughts and prayers are with you. If you need anything you let me know okay?!

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  2. Praying for you! This might not be any consolation, but a healthy baby via C-section is still a healthy baby.

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  3. Wishing you all the best! My thoughts and prayers are with you!

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  4. Oh dear! Thinking of you, friend! I'm sure it will all work out!

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  5. This made me sad for you. I am sorry you're going through this. It's amazing that in this day and age pregnancy and childbirth is still such a mystery. I am definitely thinking of you and baby J. xoxo

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  6. Oh mama, I am so sorry. Stay off Google! Its makes everything worse. Stay positive! If a c-setcion is the best thing for beautiful baby J, then it will be okay. Hopefully you get another ultrasound soon with more answers. Lots of hugs your way!

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  7. Aww hun! I am so sorry you had a bad experience with the ultrasound! Prayers and thoughts are with you -- and hopefully things all come together by the next ultrasound@

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  8. Awe! I'm sure everything will be okay. If you have to have a c-section, just think, at least you won't go into labor and possible give birth on the highway! But seriously, I'm praying everything is okay with Baby J.

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  9. Aw hoping that you get more answers at the next ultrasound and I'm definitely praying for you and little Baby J.

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  10. Oh no, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this! So scary to think something isn't right with your little one and you can't do anything about it. I hope all the tears and worry are for nothing and Little J is perfectly healthy!

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  11. :( So sorry you are dealing with this! Hugs!

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  12. Oh no! I will say a prayer things turn out a-okay! :)

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  13. I will keep you in my thoughts! I hope the next ultrasound gives you much better news.

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  14. Oh no! I'll be keeping you and that little baby in my prayers. I had to have a c-section after two vaginal births. The c-section was definitely harder to recover from, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

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  15. Aww sweets .. I am sure everything will be just fine. I know it's scary because of the unknown. Keep your chin up. We are all rooting for you and baby J for everything to go perfectly!
    Hugs mama!

    xoxo
    Lanaya

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  16. Praying for you and your sweet baby!

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  17. So sorry to hear about the bad appointment. What an aweful day for u to have to endure. C sections are not as bad as they seem. I had one and yes the recovery is harder but I imagined worst things and actually it wasn't so bad. The scar is tiny (was my first major surgery so I was worried how it would look) and I came to terms with knowing my baby arrived safely and that was okay. Plus u will get some good solid sleep from the Anastasia so rest is good right?! I hope your next appt goes well and it's good you have two little girls to keep your mind off it and keep you smiling with their smiles and energy!

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  18. I'm sorry to hear about your baby -- and sending warm thoughts your way!

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  19. Hang in there. My daughter had a small head (9th percentile) so I had to follow up appts and she was fine. I don't mean to take away from your situation, I just hope that it brings a bit of hope and relief. Keep us posted.

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  20. Awe babe...
    Just with what everyone is saying... I'm with you too.

    You just can't always depend on the science, you have to leave it to God.
    He will take care of you and your baby.
    Don't worry.
    Stay positive, eat healthy, get sleep, and sing songs.

    <3

    Kimi

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  21. I certainly hope everything will be ok. you're in my thoughts!

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  22. Thinking of you! That does not sound like an enjoyable experience, but at least you had a lot of people looking out for you and baby.

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  23. I'm so behind on my blog reading. Praying for you and the little one!!!

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