Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Dad is a Parent Too - Letting Go

I am a huge control freak. I like things done my way, because I know that my way works. In most cases, I'd rather just do everything myself than ask for help. Lately though, trying to be mommy around the clock has left me overwhelmed and exhausted. I've found it difficult to just sit back and relax or do activities that I once enjoyed because of the constant need to make sure the girls are being taken care of to my standards.

Recently, I've been letting go and trying to give Hubster an equal hand at parenting. Going out last weekend was a gigantic step for me. Although, it has been a little difficult to find a balance since he has a job outside of the home and being a mom is my job. I have to admit, I'm not exactly doing a great job. I step in a lot when I probably should just let Hubs figure it out. Since I am the one who knows the routines and the likes or dislikes, it's been somewhat of a frustrating learning experience. It's just easier for me to step in and fix situations when I know the solution.

One of the most difficult aspects of letting him take some control is that Hubs literally missed Adri's entire first year of life. She wasn't a huge fan of him when he first returned from deployment and even though she's finally started to warm up to him, there are times when she'll scream and cry if he tries to help or hold her. Thankfully, V is a daddy's girl and his absences didn't seem to have a huge effect on her.

I'm linking up again with Lanaya and her parenting series over at Raising Regan.

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  1. It must have been so hard for him to come home to a daughter who was afraid of him! I can't even imagine how that would feel. I'm glad that she is starting to warm up to him and that he is getting more time to bond! Girl you deserve some time to yourself to have some fun!

  2. My sister has this same struggle. She was a stay at home Mom for 5 years, now she works and her husband stays home. It's hard for her.

  3. You are not alone in this! It's so easy to just do it yourself sometimes, but if I do that all the time then my husband and children are having some of their relationship growth taken away from them. Baby steps of letting go! :)

  4. I struggle with the same thing! I need to work on letting go and letting hubs do more too.

  5. It's hard to do.I am happy to see you seeing this in yourself, so many women don't.

    Just remember that he's dad and his ways ,while they might not be just the way you do it[work just as well if not better. For example I make chocolate milk one way and Mike the other. I was the Queen of Chocolate Milk until Mike made a glass for Kyla and now I am not allowed to make it. :) Hayley knows that Mike will let her dress more fun (aka non matching) and loves to 'get one over' on me when he helped her dress.

    Let him find his own way, it will help with the connection with the daughters, and cause you and him less stress in the end.

  6. I have the same trouble with stepping back. It's hard when you are use to doing it all and then suddenly you just have to sit there. I'm happy to read this because its been on my mind lately to just let dad be dad and do his thing without my input.

  7. It's hard to realize that dads are the parents too ... especially for stay at home moms. We take so much responsibility on raising them {especially you in your case during deployments} and it makes it tough when it "undermines" or cuts into how you have been parenting. This is a tough one for me too and my hubby isn't in the military.
    I'm glad you are taking more opportunities for yourself! Keep going mama!!

    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo


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